Warning: This is a spoiler review. Its also really old. I found it when scrolling through the very few pages of my old blog that have been saved by the Wayback machine. It was originally written February 27 2016. Im pretty sure this is the only manga review Ive ever done. Its that time of the year again folksWere just now drifting out of one of the most depressing days of the year. For single people and people stuck in bad relationships or just teenagers too young to understand romance Valentines day can be just unbearable. But thats okay because thanks to the world of fiction there are a ton of romantic stories we can envelop ourselves in as we fantasize about the perfect love that well likely never have. This unfortunately is where bad romance literature comes from Lonely people want stories about makebelieve people who vaguely remind them of themselves at some point in their lives experiencing the greatest romance in history. Bored housewives and teenage girls set on their way to becoming bored housewives get paranormal romance stories and aging virginal men whove never experienced intimacy on any level will flock to dudebooks magical girlfriend anime and whatever the hell Red Ellen was. These are mostly harmless expressions of sexual desire but can be dangerous in the wrong hands. Last year I released my list of the top ten worst anime romances A list of the loves in anime that genuinely bothered me for whatever reason. Since then its become not only one of my most successful posts but one of my most controversial ones as well. Which Im fine with. I always stand by my decisionsAlthough my top ten best characters should be redone at some point but if theres a romance out there thats worse than my material from that list I should still give it the time of day. As it happens a few months ago somebody on Gaia made a thread about what she called the worst manga ever written and a quick glance at the cover immediately tells me that its a romance doujin. Is it really bad enough to earn my recognition? Lets take look. According to the first page this story stars a framefaced girl who looks very underaged and an older looking dude who looks suspiciously similar to Light Yagami. But before we can find out if these two characters are going to be our romantic focal point we get two pages of ads saying that the translation company Chibi Manga is looking for help. I certainly hope they got it I guess? In any case lets get started. The very first line of text in this is very telling of just how bad Chibi Manga needs that editor they were just begging for. The first line is Hes not THAT handsome that would make people have their jaws drop in awe. There are so many good ways to translate this line. It could have been worded anywhere from Hes not THAT jawdroppingly handsome to Hes not THAT hadsome Its not like everyones jaws are dropping. Either way would have been better. Our main character comes in after an extreme Shyamalan style closeup. Shes at the base of an escalator which keeps going Rappangi Rappangi as it moves her upwards. At the top of the steps is our Light lookalike looking at his watch as people chatter around him. He catches the girls eye and as theyre about to pass like to ships in the night she catches his. Thats about when the unthinkable happens He reaches across the barrier grabs her shoulder and says Wait for me upstairs. Now if we get over the initial creepiness of this move its not all that romantic really. I mean if youre really taken with this girl dont make her wait for you Turn around and walk up the down escalator Run up those bad boys to show her what youre willing to do for her Either way I cant resist saying this That escalated quickly. We finally get the title card with text from the girl thanking Cupid for her meetcute but questioning his judgement in the pairing. Which speaks volumes about what were getting ourselves into. Not only does this confirm that these two are our lovers but it also admits that they probably shouldnt be. Hey lady you know you have a will of your own right? You dont have to fall in love with an adult stranger just because hes good looking and you shouldnt blame Cupid when you do. You have agency use it. The adult is shocked to find out over coffee that his muse is only 18 which I doubt that was her original age. Im gonna throw out a guess that the English editors probably bumped up her age to avoid controversy. Theyre not getting along at first as hes embarrassed to have made such an obvious move on a high schooler and she fires back by calling him uncle. If it wasnt for the cupid line on the last page Id be positive about the way this story was heading but Eh? He reluctantly reveals himself to be 29 years old remarking that he was graduating high school just as she was beginning elementary school which just sounds like the most romantic damn line in the world doesnt it? Oh but hes still flustered because despite the breaking down of their chemistry he still thinks theyre flirting and he still wants to Take her to his room Or to be more direct to bang her. Theyre both still interested in each other and they never want to be separated from each other again. Man couple really start to hit their romantic stride after about thirty minutes dont they? The adult claims hes going to be committing sexual misconduct which is confusing seeing as how shes supposed to be 18 and she claims she can legally marry which offers more proof to my theory from earlier that shes not as old as the English version is portraying her as. Shes gotta be between 15 and 17 and theyre going to use marriage as an excuse to legally sleep together which WAIT WHAT THE HELL? MARRIAGE? DID I JUST SKIP OVER SOMETHING HERE? He claims his position doesnt allow him to break any laws Yep She was definitely intended to be underaged Why didnt the English editors take out all references to the girls age if they were going to bump it up? The two of then sign a marriage certificate whereupon they and the audience for that matter learn each others names. Because thats not something youd wanna know beforehand or anything. I think weve done it folks weve found a worse love story than Twilight. They comment on this wondering whats wrong with them and decide to try and get to know each other. first question from the man to the girl: Are you a virgin? She says no he switches on and pulls her in for a kiss. Its not her first kiss though and The end Thats seriously where this manga leaves off What do their parents think? Where are they going to live? Do they wind up having any chemistry? Or perhaps the most important question who wrote this piece of shit? Oh and thats not hyperbolic either Thats literally the most important question I can think to ask about. The identity of the person who wrote this doujin is a very clear deciding factor in whether its creepy or not. If it was written by someone the girls age thats not so bad Teenagers often fantasize about older people they find attractive I know I did. If thats the case then this doujin is just a step up from steamy fantasies and diary entries. On the other hand if it was written by someone the dudes age were looking at some serious signs of ephebophilia here. Some old dude coming up with an unrealistic situation in which an underaged girl falls madly in love with him at first glance and wants to bone him so much that shell marry him without even learning his name? That truly would make this one of the worst love stories Ive ever seen. I cant really call it the worst doujin Ive ever read as it AT LEAST wasnt a hentai but it is definitely a worse love story than Twilight.